


Too Hard

by kradarua



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff, M/M, New Year's Eve, Pining, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:08:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3075104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kradarua/pseuds/kradarua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If nothing else, you can't say he didn't try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Hard

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dedicating this to my favorite SasuNaruSasu artist, Jasu. Her art is amazing and one of her drawings inspired me to stop lurking around this place and post this.
> 
> I am tired, slightly tipsy, and by no definition a particularly good author/editor, but I hope you like it all the same. Not beta'd, unless me rereading it quickly for obvious mistakes counts.
> 
> Here is the picture that inspired this: http://yasuli.deviantart.com/art/Meanwhile-on-the-balcony-384309845
> 
> Enjoy, and Happy New Year!
> 
> ~ I'm listed as SadakoChi on Y! Gallery ~

Sasuke tried.

When they were six, Naruto approached him during recess. He had been sitting under a tree by himself, squiggling pictures into the dry dirt with a stray stick. He didn’t really like people.

“Aren’t ya lonely?”

Sasuke looked up into the face of a boy he recognized from the class next door to his. He saw him sometimes when they had to line up for a field trip or school assembly.

He was hard to miss. Even without the ruffled blond hair (such a stark contrast to Sasuke’s own dark locks), fondness of loud orange shirts, and striking blue eyes that seemed slightly too big on his still young face, Naruto Uzumaki sported whisker-like marks on both his cheeks that were quite distinctive.

Sasuke shrugged.

Naruto plopped himself down next to him, and began talking. 

“Did ya know you’re kinda scary? My best friend in my class—there! That’s him!” Naruto paused to wave enthusiastically at a boy across the playground. “Anyway, he said that’s why you are alone over here, because you’re grumpy and you scare people. But not me!”

Sasuke huffed. “I don’t care, I don’t like them anyway. And I don’t like you.”

Naruto wasn’t put off in the slightest. He grinned and said, “You are sort of a butthead. That’s ok, I’ll make you be my friend!”

Sasuke tried not to smile at Naruto’s cheerfulness. He wanted to stay grumpy until Naruto went away. He tried not to smile.

But it was too hard.

—

When they were ten, they had their first sleepover together. There were games, fake wrestling, pizza, and a movie before bed.

They squished themselves into Naruto’s single bed (not quite big enough for two growing boys) and fell asleep.

Sasuke tried not to notice the warmth coming from the spots where he and Naruto were touching.

But it was too hard.

—

In freshman year of high school, Naruto told Sasuke that he had a crush on Sakura Haruno, the smartest girl in their growing circle of friends.

“She’s just so gorgeous! I mean, who else could pull off pink hair so well? And I talked to Ino to, you know, get some information, and it sounds like Sakura is crushing on someone! You have to help me find out for sure at Ino’s party this weekend.”

“What do you want me to do about it?” Sasuke flipped lazily to the next page in his textbook.

“I don’t know. Use your ice bastard mind tricks on her, I’m sure she’ll cave.”

Sasuke peered at Naruto skeptically. “Kiba will be there too, ask him.”

“Kiba would just go up to Sakura and ask her flat out if she likes me, because he’s an asshat.” 

Sasuke snorted in response and returned to his book. After a moment of quiet, he mumbled “Fine.” Naruto cheered and hugged him from the side gruffly; Sasuke scoffed at the abuse to his textbook.

Friday night arrived, and Ino’s house was alive with people talking, eating cake, and wishing her a happy birthday. After an hour or so of milling around, Ino announced that it was her party, so she got to pick the party games. In true high school party fashion, the game Ino chose was spin the bottle.

“Okay, but the rules are different! Whoever it lands on, you have to ask them truth or dare. If you wuss out of doing the dare or answering the truth, you have to kiss the person who spun the bottle. Got it? Me first!”

Sasuke planned on sitting out (because really, what a silly game), but Naruto dragged him by the arm until he sat obediently next to him to complete the circle of high schoolers. Ino spun, and the bottle stopped on Kiba. 

“Dare!” Kiba proclaimed loudly, before Ino could even ask. Into thought for a moment.

“I dare you to shove twenty ice cubes in your pants, and let them melt!”

The next fifteen minutes were spent watching Shikamaru drop ice cubes into Kiba’s pants, one by one. Kiba made it to the sixth one before he began squealing. Everyone laughed at the faces Kiba made while he tried to sit down with his pants full of ice. Little spots had appeared all over from where it was starting to melt.

Kiba spun, still shifting awkwardly, and the game continued. Lee was dared to stand on his head until the next round was over, a task he took on proudly. Shikamaru lazily answered that no, he had not gotten his first kiss yet. Ino refused to answer her truth and instead pecked Chouji quickly on the mouth. Hinata, to everyone’s surprise, accepted when she was dared to leave her bra in the freezer for half an hour and then put it back on. 

“Alright Sakura! Truth or dare?”

Sakura bit her lip, and finally answered “Truth.”

Eyes turned to Sasuke for the question. He glanced at Naruto, and remembered the plea for his help tonight. Sighing, he grit out:

“Who do you have a crush on?”

The room looked expectantly at Sakura, and she flushed. “Um….I think…I don’t want to answer that…” She crawled across the circle, still bright red, and pressed a kiss to Sasuke’s mouth.

He hadn't been ready for it; it didn’t particularly feel any different than touching any other kind of skin, other than it being a little cold. Sakura stepped back, and spun the bottle.

“Naruto. Truth or dare?”

“Dare!”

Ino leaned over and whispered in Sakura’s ear, giggling. “Okay, um. We dare you to—what? Okay, we dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with Sasuke!”

Naruto looked disgruntled for a second. Sasuke didn't care, they’d spent enough time together anyway. Besides, wouldn’t it be more beneficial to Naruto to refuse the dare and kiss Sakura?

“Fine.”

Sasuke looked at Naruto, confused. He supposed the idiot’s pride had won out. He stood, and followed Naruto to the small coat closet by the front door. Naruto went in, then stepped aside to allow Sasuke to follow. The door was shut, and a silence fell inside, while outside the other students giggled and chatted.

After a moment, Naruto let out a breathy, nervous laugh. Sasuke turned his head towards him. “I thought you would give up and kiss Sakura.”

Naruto shrugged. In the small dark space, Sasuke felt the movement rather than saw it. He was almost pressed against Naruto’s chest; their legs were touching in places, and he could feel Naruto’s breath on his neck.

He tried not to notice the heat. He tried not to notice the clean, heady scent that Naruto seemed to carry on him. 

Naruto chattered at him about recent goings on around school until Ino called out to them that one minute remained. Naruto chuckled, and inclined his head so that his cheek brushed Sasuke’s in the dark. 

“Well, in the spirit of the game and all that,” Naruto whispered to him, before pressing a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Sasuke tried not to enjoy the warmth, or the way his skin tingled where Naruto had touched him. He tried not to care about the hushed sound of Naruto whispering to him. He tried not to stare when the door was yanked open and light flooded the closet. He tried not to rake his eyes over the grinning face with flushed cheeks, smooth lips and happy blue eyes.

But it was too hard.

—

In tenth grade, Sasuke tried not to notice how Naruto’s voice finally deepened and no longer cracked. He tried not to pay attention to the way Naruto’s eyes now fit perfectly on his face, or how he was filling out and changing from a lean, energetic boy to a toned, beautiful teen.

He tried to ignore the dreams he had (day and night) of touching Naruto, and of Naruto touching him. He tried to ignore the physiological reaction to those dreams.

But it was too hard.

—

When they were sixteen, Sasuke tried to tell Naruto how he felt. 

He had ruined at least twelve sheets of paper trying to find the perfect way to express himself. In the end, he still wasn’t happy, but he hoped it would suffice. He couldn’t face Naruto directly; his pride couldn’t handle it and he figured his straight-to-the-point tactic wouldn’t be appreciated in this case.

On Valentine’s day, he made his way to Naruto’s locker, folded letter in hand and heart hammering in his chest. He disliked being so unsure. He took a breath, and reached to push the letter through the slot. But at that moment, Naruto came rushing around the corner.

Sasuke quickly balled up the note and shoved his fist in his pocket, directing his usual indifferent (or as indifferent as he could be, given the situation he almost got caught in) face at the blond. Naruto excitedly explained that Sakura had finally agreed to go on a date with him.

Sasuke smirked and offered his quiet congratulations followed by a teasing insult, and tore the letter to shreds inside his pocket.

He decided Naruto was better off not knowing. Anyway, it was stupid to risk their friendship.

Sasuke tried to be happy for his closest friend, instead of depressed that a girl had snatched him away.

But it was too hard.

—

In their senior year of high school, Sasuke sat with Naruto outside of the prom venue, listening when Naruto burst into another infuriated rant and offering quiet, comforting presence when Naruto buried his face in his own hands.

“I just can’t believe she dumped me, today of all days…” Naruto looked up, the usual light from his eyes gone as he stared out at the wonderfully decorated garden. Even in the dim light Sasuke could clearly see the passionate, watery blue eyes determinedly refusing to cry, the smooth, warm skin (save for the whisker marks), the strong jaw and the soft curve of full lips, currently downturned. He could smell the clean grass and rain from earlier in the day, mixed with Naruto’s cologne. Sasuke wanted to kiss him, and bury his fingers in his hair and let him pour his hurt into Sasuke. 

But Naruto wondered aloud for the fortieth time what had gone wrong, and Sasuke didn't have an answer for him so he sat and listened, his own prom date be damned.

He tried not to be happy that Naruto was no longer dating Sakura.

But it was too hard.

—

They went to the same college; Naruto to study mechanical engineering and Sasuke to be pre-med. 

During the holiday break of their junior year, Naruto and Sasuke found themselves at a New Year’s gala hosted by Sasuke’s parents. Sasuke’s attendance was required, and he asked Naruto to accompany him lest he die of boredom.

Sasuke watched as Naruto spoke with one of his parents’ family friends. He seemed to be charming them; all three were smiling and laughing, but Sasuke only had eyes for Naruto. From his safe distance, he admired the beautiful features, the way his suit hugged his toned figure, the way his tousled blond hair fell into his eyes. He imagined what those eyes looked like when he laughed, when he was angry. He wondered for the millionth time what they would look like when Naruto was aroused.

Sasuke moved through the throng of people, stopping to apologize when he gently bumped into a young, splendidly dressed woman. He exited onto a balcony overlooking the lake and lush green lawn. It was a clear night, and the moon and stars were reflected in the peaceful water. A slight breeze blew past him, but the cold felt nice after being inside in a suit for so long. He sighed, and leaned on the ledge.

“Aren’t ya lonely?”

The echo of Naruto’s first ever words to him reached Sasuke, and he smiled. Naruto was smiling lazily back at him. He stood next to Sasuke and looked out over the view.

“The view here is beautiful; I can’t believe your parents were able to rent this place. I don’t even want to know what it must have cost,” Naruto laughed “Probably more than my entire existence is worth.”

Sasuke smirked and watched Naruto. The features he knew so well looked so relaxed and content looking out over the sparkling lake. 

“Sasuke? It’s almost midnight you know, we don’t want to miss the new year.”

Sasuke snorted. “I don’t think anyone in there will miss us. We can count down all the same out here.” Naruto grinned and nodded his agreement. Almost on cue, they heard the party guests inside start to count.

10.

Sasuke watched as Naruto returned his attention to the scenery. 

9.

He felt a whoosh in his stomach, and suddenly it felt as if everything he had ever felt for his blond friend suddenly rose to a single point in his chest.

8.

How long had he felt like this? How long had he hidden himself away for fear of Naruto rejecting him and destroying their friendship?

7.

It weighed on him like a sack of bricks permanently slung over his shoulder. He wanted to pull Naruto against him, kiss him hard and tell him all the things he had wanted to ever since they had met. How beautiful he was, how kind, how generous, how he always amazed Sasuke with his determination and compassion.

6.

How he had saved Sasuke from living a lonely life. How Sasuke didn't think he would survive if he lost Naruto.

5.

How he would never leave him alone, how he would always be there for Naruto in the best and worst of times.

4.

How sickeningly desperate he was to just touch him, hold him close, feel his skin, his lips, anything to quench the heat burning its way through him.

3.

There was still time to try. Maybe he could ignore it like he had been doing for so long.

2.

_Fuck it._

1.

Sasuke reached out and turned Naruto to face him. Naruto opened his mouth to ask what he was doing, but Sasuke was already tugging Naruto closer by the front of his shirt.

Despite Sasuke’s tug, their lips met quite tenderly. Sasuke could feel Naruto’s soft, full bottom lip against his own, and it was such a relief, such a wonderful soft feeling that he felt himself shake. He could hear the guests still inside wishing each other a happy new year, and cheering and clinking champagne glasses. He pressed his mouth a little harder to Naruto’s, his fist still clenched in Naruto’s shirt.

When he pulled away a second later, he searched Naruto’s face. His cheeks were red (a mirror image of Sasuke’s own cheeks, he was sure), and his eyes held a question and something Sasuke didn’t recognize. They breathed out, at what felt like the same time.

“Naruto, I—”

He had opened his mouth to apologize. To tell Naruto he understood if he didn’t want to see him. But he never got the chance.

Naruto made a strangled, desperate noise and dragged him back for another kiss, wetter and harsher than the first. As Sasuke pressed back against Naruto's insistent mouth, he relished in the soft sweet taste of his best friend, and in the hard body held firmly against his by Naruto’s hand on his waist. He threaded his fingers in the blond’s hair like he’d always wanted to do, letting Naruto ravish him.

When they pulled away to breathe, Naruto buried his face in Sasuke’s shoulder, and wrapped arms tightly around him. 

“Sasuke…I’ve wanted you to do that for so long…You have no idea how much I love you. I know that might be crazy to say but it’s really true, I love you, I love you so much. I tried, I really tried not to…”

Naruto raised his head to look into Sasuke’s eyes, and Sasuke knew his eyes gave away how happy he was. Naruto grinned, laughing and shaking his head.

“But it was too hard.”

And with that, he pressed another desperate kiss to Sasuke’s eager mouth.


End file.
